sian

On Hiatus

2006-01-06T21:14:00.000-08:00

hey people, I'm flying off to Auckland for 4 days. See you guys.

2006-01-04T18:11:00.000-08:00

I think my blog needs a revamp! Watch out for it..

2006

2006-01-01T06:03:00.000-08:00

It all began with an innocuous post countdown supper at Adam Hawker when there was an unexpected twist to an end...

I had been idling at home, watching '06 countdown at home - routinely switching channels to watch the concurrent live broadcast of Taipei (CTI) and Kao Hsiung (TVBS) countdown. Nothing short of spectacular and vibrant, which had me making a mental note that I will have my '07 countdown in Taipei.

I guess the amount of pyrotechnics expended can tell how much a nation or a city has done well, economically. Taipei City showcased the world's tallest building (Taipei 101) with the world longest fireworks display (2 minutes plus nonstop). Click to see. Hmpff.. Singapore Esplanade how to fight?

Anyway, I had all reasons to stay at home. Of which, 1) Taiwan robs us of our superstars. Singers like Ah Du, Stephanie Sun, Guo Mei Mei were in Taiwan performing. So what's left for us? Mediacock celebrities, DJs? ekk.. 2) I hate the crowds and importantly the weather.. esp. after a heavy downpour in the afternoon. No good music, no good performance, how to get "high" ? 3) The heartlander celebrations, though a good idea, rob us of the celebrities whom should be performing in "prime locations like Sentosa, Orchard". Again, what's left for us? sigh. Never mind, I had 5 hours of good music and good performance in my spacious living room.
*Trying to make the sour grapes taste sweet*

Supper with Yousheng and William was great. Tulang (bone marrow of the sheep) was a hot dish.. all stalls sold out at Adam Hawker and so we settled for mutton soup and sheep brain! Before you decided to puke, read on. It's not as disgusting as you assume to be. As silky smooth as Tofu and if it's properly processed, you will not have any pungent smell. Worth the try.

Right on, we went to Taman Jurong playground where Yousheng and William had a hand or 2 on the guitars. William broke a string off my bao bei guitar.. this superstitiously led to an unexpected twist ... He received a call shortly that someone gotten into a fight.

I sent the duo to the scene and on the way, I got hold of the incident that their friend was drunk and took a wine bottle to smash it on someone's gf's head. Shortly after a fight broke out... then that friend has his head smashed too. And just as I thought this could only happen in dramas!!!

Ambulance was there when we were there.. All's well that ends well..

It's not the everyday thing that you will see in Singapore yet such things do happen. I don't know if I count myself lucky but I think it's weirdly funny to be involved in one way or another. Ha!

p/s: Ironically, my mum said something about having a better year ahead. She was cursing about how unlucky 2005 was.. and I had to witness such shit on the first day of the first month of 2006th year.

Note to self 2

2005-11-11T09:38:00.000-08:00

Hmm, I've been missing things which I shouldn't. Oh God, tell me what I should do?

Note to self

2005-11-07T17:08:00.000-08:00

Will this blog suffer the same fate as its predecessors?

Will the new blog suffers from premature death (e.g: dying without even seeing its first entry)?

I don't know but I seem to lose my passion for blogging when I know my blog is worth $0.00. damn it!

Anyway, that's not the end of the world yet!! Yuppy.

At Changi Airport

2005-11-01T16:21:00.000-08:00

Nothing beats our number 1 airport. I'm using their free internet access to blog this entry and enjoying a cup of freshly brewed coffee and a piece of raspberry cheesecake. In another hour time, I will be boarding the plane to Hanoi, Northern Vietnam. :D

People, enjoy your holidays too and ya, Selamat Hari Raya.

No motivation

2005-10-29T05:48:00.000-07:00

There is so much to bitch about for this week. My NYC trip, my friend's ROM, my JB trip.. but I just can't find the mood to. Guess you guys have to be a little bit patient. Haha. I'm like an aspiring author trying to find his inspiration to present the finest piece of writings.

Holy crap!

Touch Down

2005-10-23T17:27:00.000-07:00

Reached Singapore ~~a couple of~~ MANY hours ago. I am WAS experiencing a POSITIVE jet lag -- meaning I'm freaking awake NOW without the influence of caffine.

Oh, I have had a bowl of laksa which I've been craving since day 3 of my NYC trip. and ya, I'm starting a brand new blog to tribute my NYC trip (as well as my other upcoming trips). Stay tuned!

p/s: screw blogger for not being able to publish my article!!

Hanging around in Bowery Starbucks Cafe

2005-10-14T15:54:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you a story about two little pathetic Asians stuck in the middle of downtown Manhattan. At about 5 PM (NYC time), we reached the doorstep of our cosy little apartment, realising that the owners were not around - to our horror. So we walked from streets to streets and a significant event unfolded before our eyes e.g: the Hardrock Cafe carrier which was completely soaked wet, gave way and our contents spewed all over the place, smack right in the middle of Ediridge St and Broome St.

Shit really happens. So we hit straight into Starbucks trying to use the sympathetically low signal WIFI service. How nice!

The consolation is that we had a really sumptuous meal beforehand at ridiculously cheap price in Time Square.

-Happily surfing my time away- I need SLEEP badly for the bloody jet lag.

Travelling in subway was indeed an eye opener.

Short musing on the plane

2005-10-13T15:22:00.000-07:00

Had this quick conversation with a Japanese sitting beside me.

Jap X: where you from?
Me, smiling wearily: Singapore
Jap X: ohh.. I know.. Meron right?
Me, (???): Pardon?
Jap X: Meron.. Mer .. Ron (gesturing a "regurgitation_from_my_mouth" hand signal)
Me: Oh... Merlion. Yeah! very famous landmark (wanted to tell him that it's a failed bioscience project attempted to cross breed a lion and a mytical creature like The Mermaid.)

Remind me pls that I shall propose a Singapore Animated series, collaboration with Walt Disney, titled How Singapore got her Merlion. Featuring Lion King shagging the little Mermaid.

Shall discuss an old issue of Nation Pride. Japanese take pride in their products, anything made in Japan.

Just as I wanted to take a snap shot of the airplane food, this Japanese jumped in joy and pointed at my camera: yeah, made in Japan!

I was like "oh no, not again"

Stuck in Detroit airport

2005-10-13T14:11:00.000-07:00

ok, this is not funny. I'm now in Detroit Airport. Flight cancelled due to bad weather in Newark Airport, New Jersey. Crap.

I'm enjoying watching the sky tram in the airport, ferrying passengers to and from gates to gates in this pretty big airport.

I bet the yankees are having a great laugh, watching 2 chinx lugging on to their huge luggages looking really lost and misguided.

Thanks to Wee Chong for his WI- FI laptop and the inexpensive Detroit Internet access.

Oh ya, I'm now currently seated in this Japanese Restaurant having a good view of airplanes taking off.

How about a Katsu Don for US$11.00? or a Tempura Soba for US$11.00? I miss Sakae..

In short, I'm very moody now!

Materialising Our Trip

2005-09-22T01:05:00.000-07:00

Yup, time for confirmation. So far, Kelvin and Duanli have confirmed with me that they are going for that 12 crazy days of expedition.

Slight change of plan though. Boo!

We have decided to take a super VIP bus from JB to Penang then take train to Bangkok and so on and so forth.

I'm proposing to have a seafood feast in JB market then a dessert @ Grand World Plaza (or something like that) and if time permits, go sing KTV before boarding the super VIP bus to Penang.

Oh my oh, I'm really anticipating for the trip!!

post script: Keith, pls confirm by next Wednesday.

马屁论

2005-09-21T05:30:00.000-07:00

要使咸鱼翻身，就得拍马屁。。
突然灵感一来，就好想押运邓小平的“黑猫白猫理论”

不管是黑猫，还是白猫
会抓老鼠的就是好猫

韵成

不管是老李，还是小李
会治国的就是好总理

想想看，我果然会拍马屁。。

三个好人

2005-09-21T05:18:00.000-07:00

人吃蛤，人吃蛤
人拉屎，人拉屎
蛤吃屎，蛤吃屎

Erection

2005-09-19T05:38:00.000-07:00

This and this confirm my suspicion that the 5 years, no, 6 years, no, 5 years, argh erection is coming ! (puns ~~NOT~~ maybe intended) As usual, I'm not turned on by my gahmen, I mean what's so sexually appealing with that lighning bolt?

I think the older generation are politically empathetic but always in dilemma while the younger generation are politically apathetic.

The older generation might recognise the fact that they need opposition voices to safeguard the nation's interests. However, they cannot forget the fact that it's the then leading (not yet ruling) party who safeguard the nation's interests against the British "colon-rectal-nationism" and the Chinese Communist. And so, on one hand, you got a ruling party which has proven track record and on the other hand, you are afraid that the ruling party sits on the throne for too long.

The younger generation recognise that money is the master. I don't care if the same old government rules for more than 40 years. All I ask for is the 5 Cs. Those young ones who are politically aware are either hiding behind the screen blogging happily away, join the party to make no difference or be quitters.

I'm definitely political ignorant.. huh? wat iis politik? :D

I guess I'm suffering from erectile dsyfunctional. Once again.

It better be funny.

2005-09-18T08:50:00.000-07:00

Uh hah. Matthew shared with me this joke. My laughing nerve fails me today but nonetheless, I insist-ed in sharing with all.

To Matt: hey, I'm risking my life and my future, blogging this down hor. Might be arrested by police and be charged under the Seditious Act for making a creed joke. I'm giving you due credits as well.

So it goes..

There is this rich man who wants a brain replacement surgery so the doctor gives him 3 options.

A. University Professor's Brain worth $10,000
B. Top -Notch Scientist's Brain worth $100,000
C. Kid's Pastor's Brain worth $1000,000

Nonetheless, being the rich man, he chose the most expensive one. Question here is why is the kid's pastor's brain worth so much?

Answer: cause it's seldom been used.. or never been used b4.. (laugh please)

Sue me for not being able to appreciate the joke initially. However, given some thought, I think it has tickled my funnybone somehow.

Try attending a church service and you will understand why. The congregation does the usual things like worshipping and listening to sermons. Prior to listening sermons, the congregation will pray aloud to God to anoint/inspire/bless the pastor and "let every word speak from the pastor's mouth be God-breathe". No mention about his brains.

M'sia, Thailand, Cambodia

2005-09-18T08:29:00.000-07:00

Back by unpopular demand!!!

Ok, here's my plan. I'm going for a 12 days crazy expedition to 3 ASEAN countries by rail, namely Malaysia truly Asia (for stopovers), Thailand and Cambodia.

The selling point of this trip is Cambodia, the France of ASEAN, boasting the world's largest temple monument(s) Angkor Wat of Hindu cosmo. Cambodia is big enough that we can't cover everything in one trip. We can't make up our mind where to go actually so fuck it, we are following what LonelyPlanet (LP) recommends. If this trip sucks, we will LPPL (puns intended)

We will be spending 6 to 7 days in Cambodia. There is a likelihood to spend 2 days in Angkor Wat and 2 nights in Pheom Penn (the capital) and 3 days in Siam Reap. According to RoughGuide (borrowed from the lib one lah), some of the 24 must-see-must-do are watching Cambodians eating 8 legged freaks (tanrantula), the Cambodian traditional dance, the Irwaddy Dolphins and the Angkor Wat.

How the fuck are we getting there:
A. Take Espress Petang from Keppel Railway (Singapore) to Kuala Lumpur.
B. From Kuala Lumpur, take Espress Langkawi to Butterworth (Penang).
[Caution: this is one big killer. Approx 14 hours.]
C. Once reached Butterworth, take International Express to Bangkok
[Caution: another killer. Approx: 20 hours].
D. From Bangkok, take Eastern Railway (Thai) to Ayanranprethet (Cambodia).

Of course, there are stopovers along the way. I'm just wondering how are we going to kill boredom in the rail. Any suggestion? Someone (none other than me) suggested wanking.

The remaining days of the trip will stop @ Bangkok. Probably, for 3 days. Just for pure relaxation and leisure. Shopping, Massage, Makan and Shopping. I'm thinking of getting my hair dyed . Shrugs.

Not forgetting, we are taking AirAsia from BKK to SG for just $60.00.

Also, we are opening invitation for 1 more kakis to join us.

footnote: I am estimating a total budget of SGD$500 for a 12 days trip, exclusive of shopping expenses. HTF I know how much you will splurge on shopping?!?!

Chiam Liao..

2005-09-12T04:04:00.000-07:00

Cannot make racist remark liao.. http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/167812/1/.html

Then with regards to the earlier posts I made right, I will like to make some amendments.

How to tell the difference between an India Indian and a Singapore Indian?

No need to tell the difference lah. They are all the same. :D

Hopefully, this subtle remark will not spark any controversy.

Real Essence of Meeting

2005-09-11T08:33:00.000-07:00

3 hours of talk cock and 20 minutes to talk proper. If not, why do you spend only 20 minutes reading minutes and not 3 hours?

Catching up with peers

2005-09-10T09:32:00.000-07:00

I was at Duane's place for a mid-autumn festival gathering. As expected, the guys will now switch their conversational focal point to their university life. I'm like shit.. I haven't ORD yet lor. Feeling much like a screwed up nerd, I stared blankly at them when they rambled about how fuckup their Indian professors are.

Chill up man. Indian people have this funny accent and they tend to speak damn fast, forgetting that that is not their first language. I'm not talking about Singaporean Indian. I'm talking about India Indian.

What's the difference?

According to Duane's theory, to differentiate India Indians and Singaporean Indians.. quite simple lah. Just ask them where is their fav hangout place..

India Indian: Mustafa
Singapore Indian: any other place, except Mustafa

Ah..

And I seem to have problem catching up with my peers. I remember 6 months ago, we can still happily talk about army life. Now most of them are in uni and I'm still stuck in the green, I really feel the lag behind.

Well, the only consolation is that I still have my meals catered for, some pocket money and lots of freebies.

Counting down the days to New Zealand.

Head Cutting

2005-09-09T03:57:00.000-07:00

Some days ago, Dr BL Og (incidentally known as blog) lamented on how irritating head popping patients can be.

Yet another case of head cutting incident which happened (God knows when) and the dismembered body was found in a blue sports bag, tucked neatly right at a corner near Orchard MRT.

How perversed can the world be now huh?

If I might offer a conspiracy theory, it might be linked to some international (maybe gahmen-linked too) syndicate doing organ trading. With Singapore proclaiming to be this hub and that hub, the trend towards bioscience is indeed a lucrative one. Talking about cloning organs, you need an original organ to clone another organ right? Where to find?

Relax lah, go look for these people who are willing to cut up bodies one loh!

Interestingly though, we seldom get to read about cases of dismembered bodies which upper limbs and lower limbs went missing. Normally it's the torso that went missing -- because inside the torso are the organssssssssssssss which can fetch good prices. Haha! Ok, that's sickening.

Food for thought

2005-09-08T06:59:00.000-07:00

Everyone experiences pain, of course. But a comedian has the ability to use their anger and intelligence to refocus and reconstruct their pain into entertainment. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians.

Can't help plagarising his quote. I rip off entirely from a FAQ of standup comedians. Indeed, a revelation for standup wannabes. We see things in a skewed and perverse way, not because we want to but because by doing so, we are doing good to the society. I believe the society lacks humour. We are taking life too seriously that we think that money alone works miracles.

Read that blockquote carefully and there are more truths that you think it is. :D

Half Fuck Phantom (of the opera)

2005-09-06T23:28:00.000-07:00

I vow that I shall never put myself under the knife unncessarily anymore. Now half of my face is swollen and I look like a complete retarded Phantom (of the opera). The doctor just gave me 10 days MC for my face to lessen swelling and I'm definitely going to ask for more.

I took notice of a couple of interesting phenomenons whilst I was in NUH. There are many many mei mei student missy donned in tight tight uniform doing their rounds. I really had a great time ogling at them. Now I know how hospitals exploit student nurses to do shitwork for them ya? Just like NSFs in the army. Cheap labour and passionate ones. They are often over-friendly and they talked to you in their sweetest voice ever. Can really boost up morale type.

The older generation always say that doctors are prestigious and high income earners. I don't think so. I think doctors are pathetic group of professions... and you know what? I saw a patient who mistook doctor as "saikang warrior". He (the patient) demanded the poor doctor to open a packet of sugar for him. That poor doctor did his bidding and he couldn't open the packet of sugar (stupidly, maybe he's not taught how to do so in the school of medicine). When he finally opened the packet, he (the doctor) even went that extra mile to pour it into the cup of tea/coffee. 10/10 points for his excellent service. :D

I'm like giggling away, trying very hard not to laugh out too loud. Can you imagine you are doing your rounds and suddenly a strange(r) patient arrowed you to open a packet of sugar?

"Oi, helpch open the sugar"
"orh..." doctor busy himself in opening up that packet of sugar.

And I think I've been through operations more than a normal person does and I've understood the SOP so well that the doctors and the nurses have the intention to give me the "Best Patient Award".

shrugs. Now I've many many time to rest. cheers.

Social Admission

2005-09-04T23:22:00.000-07:00

Dr BL Og (coincidentally sounds like blog) wrote this article on holiday season which hospitals are always packed with grand-ies. It saddens me to know how people "bites the hand which feeds them" by simply dumping them into hospitals for convenience sake.

It's especially irritating for me because I'm deprived of a hospital bed, perhaps of this phenomenion of social admission or perhaps due to the media hype-up cases of dengue fever. Either way, they don't sound too promising indeed.

I'm trying to visualise how my B2 ward will look like. 4 beds with 3 beds pre-occupied by ah peks and ah ums. In the middle of the night, I can hear some deep-throat groaning and moaning, "ohh, ahh.. ohhhh.. awww.. miiiiiii syyyyy miii syyyyy.. tia lah.. jit dao tia hit dao tia long zhong tia.." It's true man! Bed sores are the number 1 killer in hospital. Poor missy has to flip the patients like pan-frying fishes every now and then due to the immobility of the patients.

I don't think I will get turned on by the groans either.

Somebody actually asks me if I have any pre-ops thoughts. Hell, if I say no. -grinz- I just hate being put through general anesthesia (I prefer euthanasia if I have a choice. Staying in Singapore is unbearable. Ha. ) Not that I hate sleeping but I hate waking up. Imagine you waking up feelin groggy and grumpy because you wake up feeling pain-ed.

Missy: "Wake up, mister.. We are going to transfer you to your ward."
Me (snorted): "orh", continued sleeping
Missy (shakes me up): "oi, wake up leh"
Me: (just feel like sitting up and screams) " oh fuck you, what the hell you want? heh."

Another reason which will make me stay away from hospitals are the sterilised needles. Not so much of the sterile needles but the pricking of the needle into my delicate skin.

Missy: "relax, it's just an ant-bite only"
Me: "oh fuck you, do you know how painful ant-bite can be?"

This reminds me of a toilet-washing incident which happened not long ago, back at Tengah. A group of us were tasked to wash an "abandoned" toilet. Abandoned by human civilization yet pretty much occupied by colony of red ants. They bite! Imagine shitting in that toilet..

It gets worse when they happen to make their way through ur sensitive area. "Ouch, my cock hurts" and you can be seen obscenely scratching your groin area the whole day. The next time any missy was to tell me that it's only ant bite, i will ask her to let an ant bites and see how painful it can be! The stinging pain still remains....

On a lighter note, I will get to satisfy my fetish for uniforms. Missy in tight tight nurse uniform for my viewing pleasure.. It will be really good if they give me a blowjob or two!

Confirmed!

2005-08-31T07:55:00.000-07:00

See see see.. I was right after all. My earlier post mentioned about me getting suspicious of people's agenda. Hai.

Right after, I blog that previous entry, I had a sms from someone who hasn't contacted me for so long dropped me a sms out of the blue.

It turned out to be an investment scheme too good to be true. Folks, do I really look like I'm someone too easy to be conned?

Expected R.O.I to be 14% to 18% depending on the sales turnover rate. Ok fine. What the fuck do they have to have promotional period till October for prospectus investors to pay a one time payment of $3300 and getting a cash rebate of $210 and subsequently monthly dividends? Questionable policy. Never mind about it. The saddest thing is the investors who invest after the promotional period will not get anything.

This is nuts. Obviously I rather invest the $3300 on a good laptop to last me for at least 3 years in New Zealand.

Paranoid

2005-08-30T22:38:00.000-07:00

It is getting on my nerves, as well as on some of my "ex" army friends'. This little devil "paranoid" has been hovering onto me ever since someone borrowed a lump sum of nearly $1000 from me. The fact is he returned the money and our friendship has come to a closure.

Nowadays, I'm getting more suspicious of people's agenda and just today, I accused my friend of taking away a camp security pass out of mischief. I found out that I was wrong when I verified with another friend who doesn't know him at all. He didn't. I tend to associate every 'mishap' with the presumption of the worst case scenerio - somebody else must have something got to do with it.. nope. not because of me, it's has to be somebody else.

I don't know why. Perhaps, my JC mate was right afterall. The threshold for trust decreases each time someone breached your trust and you will never regain the confidence level of trust.

Never.

On the hindsight, I began to question my faith too. Does God exist? Even if He does, is He a "God of gaps"? God exists for every thing that we cannot explain using science.

Should I be an Atheist fool or blind Christian devout?

Outsourcing

2005-08-29T05:59:00.000-07:00

Damn! Outsourcing has been a proven track record for its efficiency. It is also especially merciless when it comes to summoning of fines. I nearly had a taste of it 10 minutes ago. I just had that bloody stroke of luck when the mat in his awful looking cap and white uniform was inspecting my car.

For a second, I thought there was something wrong with my car but I began to realise that something more catastrophic was about to happen right before my eyes. That mat is going to summon me.

I rushed towards my car and gave him a pitiful, pathetic smile and trillions of apologies. Good thing he let me off, warning me that I have parked at the peak season carpark lot.

It feels good to be let off with nothing and it feels even better when I donned in the SAF uniform. I feel utmost exhiliarated when I'm donned in the SAF uniform and my car plate begins with a Q.

For all I care, I can just tell a harmless lie to the Mat that I'm on shift work to patrol around Nanyang neighbourhood as part of the Urban Warfare Exercise codename "Ex Jackass". Not with traces of food left on my mouth...

"Book me and see if I will lodge a complain.."
"ok sorry CPL. so you are on Ex Jackass"
"upaden.. I'm going to another estate somewhere somehow"
"oh sure. pls CPL"
"muhaha. burp. excuse me"

And I'm $100 richer because I have a nice brother who won $10000 for 4D. Who says coveting is evil? Not when I'm $100 richer.

The day I sabotage myself

2005-08-24T07:57:00.000-07:00

I finally know the finest meaning of “养兵千日，用在一招”. Loosely translated, it means "keep an army for a thousand days, just for that trick."

Sunzi (not Sunyanzi) was damn right to say that we have to train ourselves constantly, consistently, and diligently so that when the day comes, we are in the ready mode.

That is why musicians have to rehearse, practise and train so hard just for that 3 or 4 minutes of attention and glory.

It is completely shitty when a round table of 9 (excl. you) have kindly nominated you to sing a song right in the open space, on the stage, right in the centre and for a crowd of 100 audiences. I mustered my courage (read: dutch) and chose a song I was comfortable with, especially I've been singing everywhere, in my bathroom, on my bed, at Kbox, and in my dreams. It's a hokkien song by the way.

Ever had this feeling of having not 1 but millions of butterflies in your stomach? You just lose your appetite instaneously. Very good remedy for those who intend to go on diet. It sucks more as the butterflies mate and mutiply more. From a million to two millions to four millions. Really bad. While everyone in my table were waiting with anticipation, I was shivering with beads of cold sweats. I wished I hadn't had the participation. The wait was damn long and finally, it was my turn.

I never knew who Murphy was until today. I hated his laws... especially during the very critical moment. I was on stage, trying to accustom to the familiar tune and guess what, I found that tune somewhat familiar but hell, it wasn't the song I wanted.

Keeping absolute composed, I sang. I had to, I didn't want to embarrass myself. I could have requested for that song I wanted. I didn't. I continued to sing and strangely enough, butterflies just flew away from my stomach. Great. and I somehow flirted with the audience.. I mean you stare at the people who are watching at you intensely.. you know you have captured their attention. My body language was horrible and it could just show my displease with the KJ who gave me the wrong familiar song which I too have been practising. Probably not as often as that one I wanted but still I can sing it..

Superb experience and well, it just mean I'm one step closer to being a stand up comedian.....

处女作

2005-08-22T06:34:00.000-07:00

这是我第一次尝试用中文“博客” ，希望不久的将来可以博出自我，博出个春天来。

我想用中文表达个人言论，并不是不可能，而是要费心思去一字一字地去打进拼音字母。太麻烦了。。

我想大概有两种人会选择用中文来把自己的思和心中的情感写出来。。第一种就是不懂的用英文的人。。第二种就是自己以为自己的华文很好 (其实只不过是皮毛而已)

打拼音字母很累的。。他妈的。。真的很后悔

It's time for a break.

2005-08-22T04:57:00.000-07:00

Yup, the verdict is out and I am going for my operation. After the operation, I can take my time to recuperate.. I can then concentrate on my book as well as planning for my bday and lastly, embark in Chinese blogging.

The maid

2005-08-21T08:22:00.000-07:00

Believe in karma, folks.

Political

2005-08-20T17:56:00.000-07:00

Someone did ask me if my blog is a political blog. I couldn't help laughing. The answer is definitely no. Too shallow to be one lah!

I'm an just an average Singaporean who wants his opinions to be heard somehow somewhere and all he does is to write his day-to-day musings about his life, and his country. Blog facilitates opinions polling in that sense, you see.

For that matter, I think every Singaporean would want to have some say in how the nation is being ruled. Because they are Singaporeans and they pay tax. The pathetic thing is there is no proper avenue for an average Joe to voice their opinions. Singaporeans suffer from cold feet speaking up for one apparent reason. We don't want to look stupid in front of other. "Face" to the Asians means alot. Really alot. IF we don't speak up, then we really look stupid in front of people. Not everyone, just some. That's enough. I've seen too many of such cases liao..

It did happen that Mrs Goh said that $600,000 is peanuts.
It did happen that the gahmen paid out $400,000 to rename Marina Bay as Marina Bay.
It did happen that Mr Nathan had a walkover.

All I did was to present the facts with a twisted humour, often with many pinches of sarcasm. Then, I will like to ask the men in white.. is sarcasm neccessarily equate to defamation?

Again, Singaporeans still have the mentality that the gahmen has very little threshold for hearing out opinions. But folks, the gahmen is right. What seems to be an opinion is often regarded as a complain. Then, would you not be irritated that people are opinionating their complains to you?

Heh, people say politics is a dirty game. I digress.. I think politics is a clean game played by dirty people.

She.

2005-08-20T12:55:00.000-07:00

If there is something I like about attending parties, that will be seeing Friendster (tm) springing into action. I am expecting to see the usual crowd but it's surprising to see how that girl whom you are acquainted to turns out to be ur best buddy's classmate. Of course, those who have lost contact for donkey years just appear right in front of you and the consolation is that they still remember who you are.

The sad thing about hosting a party is that the hostress (or the protaganist) isn't the centre of attraction normally.. she's merely the point of contact for the long lost friends to get together. Sad because she does nothing NOT to deserve the attention. It's her day afterall.

And she did turn up for the party as promised afterall. Part of my agenda for attending Cindy's party is for her too. I just can't wait to catch a glimpse of her... well.. if change is the only thing that remains constant, she has indeed changed alot since the last time I saw her. Her physical appearance... Her personality.. I didn't get to talk to her much during the party as someone took his position for that. damn!

Oh ya, girls can have bad pickup lines or conversation starters as well. When she attempted to strike a conversation with me, she started with," er, so you managed to get cindy a G-string?"

I was like expecting her to ask me how have I been or what am I doing now or something more personal. Ah, I just don't understand girls sometimes.

Reciprocrating, I gave her the lamest reply I could think of and I regretted doing so. I go like " hah. yeah.. i got her a Gstring or rather a J-string blah blah..". and I brought my mum into the picture, and continued" I tied a rafia string around my mum blah blah.." Then I stopped the conversation abruptly to stop the embarrassing moments.

....

K.L did ask me what about her that I most attracted to. I couldn't figure out too.. but she is just one character who fits the description of my woman. Not exactly but somewhat.. she bears some resemblance with (secret). I guess it's her sparkling pair of anime eyes.. shining with confidence.

I'm just simply attracted to her pair of eyes.. hmm

Did manage to talk to her while driving her home.. and perhaps that conversation would set a milestone in my life. I have decided that she shall remain one of my most important contacts.. Just have this feeling that I need her one of these days. She might just one day be one of the top businesswomen having companies listed in Fortune Top 500.

There was also this little episode which happened in my car.. one of the 4 monkeys sitting behind in my car was lamenting about having no public holiday on 27th of this month. Reason being that there will be no Presidential Election as no eligible candidates other than Mr Nathan contesting for the election. Being a little quick witted, I blurted out "There is no president election because the budget for putting up the photoframes of the new President TOO HIGH lah." heh.

Was just thinking to myself that if one day the chairman of the waste cutting committee decided to have a press conference. Probably, his speech will be something like this:

"In lieu with the President Election, the waste cutting committee has decided that there shall be no President Election because we can help save unnecessary costing. Here is the breakdown of the cost."

*Costs:
Setting up a Election Committee = one-eight peanut (approx $75,000)
Setting up poll stations = one-tenth peanut (approx $60.000)
Removal and installation of new photoframes (should a new president is elected other than Mr Nathan) = 1/20 peanut (approx $30.000)

* The amount stated is absolutely fictitious.. do not take for real.

This money can then be channelled to other places for better use such as renaming Marina Bay as Marina Bay.

p/s: I think the whole sage of peanuts and of renaming issue should put to a halt.. thanks ok? haha

Economy of Hell.

2005-08-18T06:39:00.000-07:00

While I was busy practising my eye-power on a group of zealots who are preparing the offerings for the good buddies, two schools of thought flash across my mind concurrently. The Monetarists' and the post-Keynesians' views on the causation of inflation. :D

The monetarist articulates the idea of over supplication of money results in inflation while the post-keynesian argues that over supplication is not the cause for inflation (oh well, anyway one has to play the devil's advocate).

Being a pro-Monetarist, I asked my friend a intriguing question "do you think there will be inflation in hell? er.. at least for the lunar 7th month?"

I strongly believe that every year the good buddies have a substantial amount of pocket money amounting to trillions trillions dollars (hell bank currency) every year. However, I am not too sure about the population over there but I presume to be, say the same as the third planet of the solar system which is none other than the Earth, 3 billion good buddies. [I will check out with the consensus board if I have the time.]

That will be who cares anyway.. Every 7th Month, the Chinese believe that to get more blessing and good luck from the "spiritizen" (citizen is to city and spiritizen to spirit world), one has to generate unfathomable amount of money for them and create a spinning headache for Hell Taxation Authority.

Hah, I think hell suck big time, having to deal with inflationary effects. This gives a distortion of what hell is supposed to be. I always thought Hell is a place to receive punishments for all the wrong-doings that one has to go through after death. How come can have car, bungalow, airplane and many more?

Maybe, I should propose that we burn the paper mache of our gahmen. Next time when I go to hell, I can expect lifts going from 1st storey to 18th storey, stopping at 6th, 9th and 15th storey only. Then, only after the subsequent 10 years of absolute ruling and promises of "more good times", they confirm guarantee a precinct upgrading of a lift lobby on every storey. Who knows, the gahmen in hell may even propose to build a durian-shaped reincarnation wheel named DurinCarnation, then spent some money to rename it to DurinCarnation.

p.s: Why am I still in the topic of renaming ?

Sparkling Orange Juice

2005-08-17T06:39:00.000-07:00

That's what I thought creative when I've decided to get myself a drink.

so.. after that 20 minutes of hardwork of setting up a blog and getting my first post up, I decided to get myself a drink.

I stretched out for that can of chilled 7-up and a bottle of Orange Squash syrup caught the attention of the cornea of my right eye. (shifty eyes heh.)

I was amused by the idea of mixing the both together and ended up bemused :( Look, what has "creativity" gotten me into?

This reminds me of a pretty old headline a month ago. Renaming Marina Bay as Marina Bay. Hah. Gahmen thought that the Angmohs are good in name-giving and that's what they got for two-third peanuts (the equaivalent of $400,000). I really don't know why our men in white never learn their lessons carefully, allowing history to repeat itself....

I recalled once that the mainland Chinese have translated the lunar 7th month ghost festival as Hungarian Ghost Festival. I don't know how much they have paid the mainland Chinese for but I guess it's cheaper.

Is it just me or what? Funnily enough that they have to pay up $400,000 for the provision of zero service. Will you pay the service provider for something that they have not done?

Then again, any ordinary Singapore citizen who walk into a dining restaurant that subjects their customer to pay 10% service charge is often charged for negative service.

Or will you pay the service provider for something that they have done undeserving?

Beats me...

It's really tough to name a blog

2005-08-17T06:23:00.000-07:00

Just as I was fired up to start a blog, then I realised that naming a blog can be quite tough.

randomthoughts.blogspot.com was taken up
randomtots.blogspot.com was taken up
randomthought.blogspot.com was taken up
thisblogsucks.blogspot.com invalid
powderful.blogspot.com was taken up
noname.blogspot.com invalid

then name me a blog lah!

It took me 20 minutes just to get pass the 2nd stage of setting up a blog. That's crap.